Bad Parenting?

Why do others see me as a bad parent when my child misbehaves?

I know as a parent we are responsible for teaching our children what is acceptable behavior and correct them when they make a poor choice. I completely agree. I just wish others had understanding for the fact that parents of special needs children have to continually reteach their child  how to behave appropriately. It will take the child longer to implement these correct behaviors and a lot of practice to gain control of their actions.
Being a special needs mother I know what to expect, how to contain the situation, and help my son(s) calm down. I am not a parent who give excuses or allowances just because my children have special needs. We are sure to have our sons own up to their actions/choices and make restitution for it, to the best of their ability. But just because you got hit, scratched, bit, punched, or screamed at doesn't make me a bad parent, nor does it make my son a bad child. It means that something triggered his behavior, and there was nothing I could do to stop it in that moment. Should I have to be the one to apologies for my child every time an incident happens?" I wish I could say, "It's not my fault." but I can't. So, I apologize and hope for the best. Very likely they may say something rude and avoid us in the future, but I can't blame them in their ignorance. If they could only see how far my child has come to improve his behavior they would be more understanding. If I could send one message out to the world on this topic I would say.

"Autism is not caused by bad parenting!"

Autism on Goodreads

Autism: Understanding The Puzzle is on Goodreads you can go and rate it here.

One Gene, One Drug Affect Autism Behaviors in Mouse Model

"Harvard researchers found that deleting one gene in certain brain cells causes autism behaviors in mice. They also discovered that treating the mice with rapamycin, an immunosuppressant drug, prevents the symptoms. Autism Speaks partially funded the study, published this month in the journal Nature.

The findings represent an important step in figuring out brain pathways that cause autism, explains the study’s senior author, Mustafa Sahin, Ph.D., associate professor of neurology at Harvard University. It also represents a very early step in determining whether rapamycin or drugs like it can help individuals with autism.

Past research has associated autism with certain brain cells in the cerebellum, a region involved in coordinating brain activity. These cells, called Purkinje cells, play an essential role in normal brain function. Studies using post-mortem tissue show that many individuals with autism have fewer of these cells than is normal...

Deleting the gene (either one or both copies) caused all three of autism’s core behaviors:

· Abnormal social interactions. The mice spent less time with each other and more with inanimate objects.

· Repetitive behaviors. The mice spent abnormal amounts of time pursuing one activity.

· Abnormal communication. They emitted abnormal levels of ultrasonic vocalizations."

read more click hear

"I don't know how you do it"

When someone finds out that I am a mother of six boys, with four of them on the autism spectrum, this is the most common response I hear, "I don't know how you do it!" Yes, I know that six boys is an endless adventure, and having children with autism is extremely challenging. But, when I hear this reply it always makes me wonder, "Am I NOT suppose to do it?"

Don't worry I am not offended if someone makes the comment, I know their meaning is, "Wow, I am amazed at all you do." For me I don't know any other way of parenting. I am the mom, so I am going to do whatever it takes to care for my sons. Given different circumstances I may wonder the same thing about you. I am awed at your strength and courage to face the daily challenges, even if to you they don't seam like anything special, or you feel like you can't keep going. You are doing amazing work!
I do have to say that I learned a valuable secret from some other wise mom's, "SELF CARE" This is easier said than done, believe me. However, if I take care of myself, I can handle almost anything, ( I say that while crossing my fingers, hoping I didn't just jinx myself for any surprises anytime soon.) I don't mean selfish wants of, "I need this to feel better." Anything that is a distraction will not fill up my "mommy batteries" Instead I am talking about self care physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If I take the time to care for myself, I am a better mom and have the energy to make it the next day. I make it a personal rule to do something in each area every day. I have my favorite list of things I like to do which is different from someone else, but here are a few examples for those who are looking for ideas.


Take a nap or get a full nights sleep (if I am so lucky)
Go for a walk
Yoga
Dance
Listen to Music (or sing)
Talk with a friend
Jigsaw puzzles
Read a great book
Playing a game
Write my thoughts down (hey look, I am doing one right now!)
Get a Massage
Dinner made by someone else, * this one is a BONUS!
Laugh
Take time to be still
Pray
Worship
...you get the idea


One other secret I've learned after caring for myself, is care for my husband. If he is happy and recharged, then that makes two of us to care for our family, which is a heck of a lot easier than doing it by myself. Often we take turns recharging our batteries so we can make it through another day. I am blessed to have him there to give me the much needed breaks so I have energy for later. Hopefully, you have such a great person in your life, if not a spouse, a friend, family, or a neighbor. If not, remember you are not alone. Someone greater than all of us is there watching over you, and He is only a prayer away.

"Fixing" Autism

Lou's passion for his daughter is remarkable.

Scanning brains may catch autism soon

In a new study, researchers from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill used a special kind of MRI imaging called diffusion tensor imaging to look at 15 brain connections of babies who had a sibling with autism. They found significant differences in 12 of the 15 connections in those who developed autism. Children without the disorder had stronger connections. Children with autism had weaker connections.

"The children who went on to have autism, we can see differences as early as six months, and that over time, their brains changed less," said Dr. Jason Wolff.

by Click2Houston.com  Read more here

Hoofbeats to Healing is opening in Bountiful!

We are so excited the opportunity has arrived. Hoofbeats to Healing, therapeutic riding center, is opening an additional facility in Bountiful in just a couple weeks (this June). - Large indoor arena, horses specially trained to work with those who have all kinds of special needs. - Our boys have shown and maintained improvements over the last three years from riding at Hoofbeats. Improving brain functions, speech, interactions (social skills) and minimizing tantrums and sensory stemming.


The 20 spots open for the one day per week are going fast. Additional spots will be added in the future. The best way to reserve a spot is to call Tami Tanner 801-836-4325. You can also e-mail her but she doesn't check it often tamtrot@gmail.com.


Read more about Hoofbeats on these links below.

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9170140230049680882#editor/target=post;postID=5879054316842999447

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9170140230049680882#editor/target=post;postID=614898944571320426

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hoofbeats-To-Healing/47832645139

Mother of six pursues psychology degree to better understand her sons’ disorder

Mother of six pursues psychology degree to better understand her sons’ disorder 

5/10/12

Over the past 12 years, Utah's Sharla Jordan has seen four of her six sons diagnosed with autism. Witnessing one diagnosis after another, Jordan spent many of those years experiencing a wide range of feelings.

"I have gone through all kinds of emotions," Jordan said. "I have gone through anger, denial, blame, sadness, acceptance. It is never just one, and I probably cycle through those emotions every time something new comes up."

After receiving several misdiagnoses from doctors and struggling to understand the ins and outs of autism, the stay-at-home mom began researching the disorder to improve her knowledge of how she could best help her children, even publishing a book in October. Then, after years of research, Jordan decided to go back to school and pursue a bachelor's degreein psychology, as it would allow her to further her understanding of autismwhile earning credits.

Although it had been more than 10 years since she had earned an associate's degree, Jordan began taking classes toward her bachelor's degree last fall. So far, she said the experience of being an adult learner is different than being a younger student.

For example, as she is now raising six children between the ages of 4 and 16, Jordan must find fool-proof ways to manage her time. Currently, she is taking advantage of her college's online and independent courses, which allow her to stay home with her youngest son while also working toward a degree. When her son is old enough to go to school for the day, she plans on trekking to campus to complete her courses.

Although going back to school is a daily challenge, Jordan does not regret her decision. For adults who are thinking of making the same life change, she says it is important for them to think about why they are going back to school and use that as motivation. Of course, for Jordan, the thought of being able to better understand her four autistic sons is enough to keep her focused.

"If they have that desire or motivation, go back and do it," Jordan said. "It's never too late to go back to school. If you have finished a degree in something you can always go back and do something else. Just because we seek out to do one thing, 10 or 20 years later there may be a totally different road that we've taken since then." 

ABA Therapy approved by the Federal Government

Thank you Autism Speaks! Autism Speaks Hails Landmark Federal Decision Calling Key Autism Therapy a ‘Medical’ Service Eligible for Insurance NEW YORK, NY (May 30, 2012) -- Autism Speaks hailed today’s announcement by the federal government, the nation’s largest employer, that Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), the most widely used behavioral intervention used to treat autism, is a “medical” therapy that qualifies for health insurance coverage, rather than an “educational” service. Click to read more

The Healing Power of Horses

Here is an article from BYU's "The Universe" about Hoofbeats to Healing. Wonderful benefits have come for our boys riding there.

Hoofbeats to Healing is an organization founded 15 years ago by TameraTanner, and is designed as a therapeutic horse ranch dedicated to improving those with physical and cognitive disabilities.

The Poop Page - from TACA

I read this article and found the information helpful understanding my sons tummy troubles. I hope it helps you too.

The “Poop” Page

By Lisa Ackerman and Linda Betzold

Dedicated to fellow “poop peepers” like me!

Many children with autism suffer from many issues involving the gut and their bowel movements (or lack there of). So much so that not a meeting goes by, nor a support phone conversation, that does not involve a discussion of “how are your child’s poops?”

Based on the obsession to help children “go” daily, one would conclude this process is a newly found hobby. Many TACA families take great care in discussing, analyzing and fretting over their child’s poops! (So you are not crazy! Join the club!)

For our kids (and all humans) moving our bowels daily is a key component to basic and good health. If a child:

• Is having loose bowel movements that happen too quickly after eating (for example less than one hour) — there are issues to address.
• Is having bowel movements two, three, four or more days apart; then they are not stooling often enough — there are issues to address.
•  Is having bowel movements that contain undigested food particles, and you recognize the good in the toilet or diaper — there are issues to address.
• Has a bloated belly beyond the age of two — there are issues to address.
• Performs self stimulatory behaviors such as toe walking, flapping or posturing just before or while stooling (posturing appears to provide comfort and may include applying pressure to the abdomen by leaning against a blunt object, like arm of sofa, therapy ball, mom’s knee, etc.) — there are issues to address.
• Alternates between constipation and diarrhea — there are issues to address.
• Produces stool that has a very odd odor, color and/or texture — there are issues to address.
• Has fallen behind or hit a plateau on his/her growth chart — there are issues to address.
• Has been unable to potty train passed a reasonable age (6, 8 10 years of age) — there are issues to address.

If your child is pooping daily and still seems uncomfortable, he or she may not be getting enough stool out every day. It is important to consider these suggestions with your doctor and make sure that your child is having complete and regular bowel movements.

A few more thoughts …

1. Stool impaction is incredibly painful, and it sometimes happens to our kids. An exam and x-ray of the abdomen (called a KUB) can help diagnose an impaction, which will likely require MEDICAL ATTENTION. Watch for distended tummies, night waking because of pain, and sometimes dramatic changes in behavior as clues. Sometimes children with stool impaction will produce thin, ribbony stool in the toilet, another clue that there may be an impaction. Sometimes children with an impaction may have diarrhea every day or every few days. It can be a little confusing or misleading, but diarrhea is the only thing that can squirt around the impaction. This can be another clue that there is an impaction. Please see a doctor for help immediately. A good gastroenterologist can make a huge difference in finding and solving the root problems unique to your child.
2. The best pediatric gastroenterologists that understand and treat the GI issues of children with autism are Dr. Arthur Krigsman of Pediatric Gastroenterology of New York and Texas, www.autismgi.com, and Dr. Timothy Buie at Massachusetts Hospital for Children, a teacher at Harvard Medical School,www.massgeneral.org/children/specialtiesandservices/ladders/default.aspx. In many cases, if children on the autism spectrum are experiencing severe, prolonged GI-related problems, a trip to either one of these professionals is recommended.

Read More Here

Moving With Your Special-Needs Child - 15 Ways to Ease the Transition

Moving With Your Special-Needs Child - 15 Ways to Ease the Transition

Written by Krystyann Krywko, Ed.D.;

 photo: PhotoXpresss.com 

It is estimated that 1 out of 5 families move every year; which means that for many families, the early weeks of summer are often filled with packing boxes, contacting new schools and finding new dentists. While transitioning to a new neighborhood or town can bring an assortment of stresses, this stress can be amplified when a family moves with a special-needs child. Routines, therapies and support networks can be disrupted and the entire family can feel on edge. Whether this is your first move or you are a seasoned veteran, the following tips will steer you and your family on the path to a smoother transition:

Keep them involved – As a parent, you know what your child can handle emotionally. While taking a child house hunting might work in some families, for others, it makes sense to wait. “Our children are visual learners,“ says Sharla Jordan, mother of six boys (four with special needs), “so once we had a contract to buy our new home, I drew out a sketch of the floor plan and explained where their bedrooms would be and where their toys would go. This really helped reduce anxiety.”

Read more of the Article here

(I am glad to see the author used all my suggestion in her article)

Autism Brain Research

Autism Research Unraveling Mysteries - April 9, 2012

"Research suggests the brains of autistic children may indeed be "wired" differently "right from the beginning," Paterson says. A popular theory among researchers holds that autistic people have an abundance of "local connections," in one specific part of the brain, but not enough "long-distance connections" to coordinate complex tasks among various parts of the brain, such as interpreting emotions, says Geraldine Dawson, chief science officer for the advocacy group Autism Speaks.

"The changes lie not in the brain cells themselves but in the pathways that transmit messages between brain regions, Paterson says.

"These pathways aren't visible to the naked eye. But scientists can get a sense of these bundles of nerve fibers with technology that traces the path of water through the brain.

"Structural changes in these fiber tracts are evident in the brains of children later diagnosed with autism, even as young as 6 months old."

The Arizona Republic

Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/2012/04/09/20120409autism-research-unraveling-mysteries.html#ixzz1sEpjPMC8

ACU - Autism 15 second spot

I Hope...

How many of you go through that feeling of a sense of loss more than once? This is very common at first when your child has been diagnosed, but also every time another mile stone is missed/delayed, or when another road block is in the way of your child's development. Over the last couple months we have had more than a few of these come up for more than one of our sons. I realize more and more what additional challenges I see in their future and I begin to ask "what if he can't..." I have to stop myself right then, because If I continue to dwell on that question, it brings me down and hinders my perception to see what my sons are capable of. Instead I need to say, "I hope..." and then focus on the now, because now is so important for their future.